Ren's understanding of English is really coming along, we think. We're sure he understands our basic /regular words, phrases and instructions and I wouldn't be surprised if he understands more than that as well. It's still difficult at times but definitely better than at first when we really couldn't communicate much at all. We were told that he only spoke a couple of words in Cantonese but I have doubts about that. He is already saying several words and phrases in English: hi, hello, bye-bye, goodnight, more, please, thanks, Mama, Daddy, Jie-Jie, Kitsya,kitty, puppy (sounds like uppy), Grandma, Baba and Dido. Granted, we wouldn't understand what he's saying without the context because the words are not coming out very clear, but the words are there. He is also attempting some short sentences: "Hi Kitsya", "more please", "Where is Jie-Jie?" "all done", "here you go". I suspect that he had more Cantonese words than we were told but that it wasn't really known by the orphanage, perhaps because he had several caregivers (either they didn't compare notes or they weren't able to see the context to discern the sounds he was making).
Meal preparation time has really evolved around here. When we first came home, Ren was incredibly impatient for food the moment he saw it. We soon realized that he probably never saw food being prepared. In the orphanage, food preparation would have happened behind the scenes; when food was visible, it meant it was time to eat. Not so here! Thankfully it seems that Ren has gotten somewhat used to food having to be prepared before it is time to eat. I don't know what I would have done without my mom here for the last little while because it really did take someone to keep him occupied while the other made breakfast, lunch and dinner. He is still impatient to some degree but much less so!
It seems like this post is turning into a series of theories related to Ren's life in the orphanage so I might as well offer a couple more:
- At meal time, the perception of fairness is huge. If someone helps themselves to more of a certain dish, Ren immediately squawks for some too, even if he already has some on his plate. If Claire wants more of something, we have to remember to give him a tiny bit more too, even if he already has some. I wonder if this too relates to his time in the orphanage.
- We continue to marvel at Ren's ability to play independently. The other night, we were watching a bit of kids' TV. He soon lost interest and spread out a blanket for himself on the floor. He then proceeded to play with some Duplo train stuff for a good 10 - 15 minutes! Again, it's likely an attribute of having been in an orphanage but I'm happy for it sometimes. He really seems to have amazing focus.
Here are some random photos of the kiddies around our house the last couple of weeks.
9 comments:
I am glad things are going so well. They are both so precious!
Awww, such super cute photos! What a beautiful big sister/little brother team they make.
It's so nice to read an update! I know you've been very busy -- probably even moreso now that your mom has gone home -- so I appreciate any little bit of news you can find time to post. Ren sounds like he's coming along well with his communication skills! I'd wager a bet he understands more than he's letting on. :)
Good luck with the rest of your first week on your own, I hope things continue to go as well as they have so far
xxoo
It sounds like Ren's use of English is growing by the minute. You're probably right that he understands more than he can or is willing to communicate.
Interesting observations about the fairness in portions and food prep versus immediate eating. Wouldn't it be great to see how daily life works in his orphanage so that you could know some of these things ahead of time? Sounds like you guys are great at deducing them.
I hope your first week continues to go well.
The photos are wonderful. They look so happy together.
Your insights are so interesting, Monica. I've spent some time myself, wondering how orphanage life relates to some of the things that happen around here.
So nice that you had your mom staying with you for awhile. Nice for the kids to have the extra attention as well while you're getting your feet back on the ground.
I LOVE the pics of the kiddies together. I can hear Claire's giggle from here. I'll never forget her happy, giggly demeanour that she showed us on the trip!
Ren has a killer smile. So many people who followed our blog and linked over to yours, have commented on how absolutely beautiful he is :)
Hope you have a great week!
xo
Carolyn
Monica,
Love the update, and it's so good to hear that Ren is doing well, especially with his communication!
Ren's behaviors you described completely describe Teddi as well. When we first got home Teddi would literally fall to pieces as we tried to prepare food--it was if we were not going to feed her at all. Like you, we finally realized that when she saw food at the SWI it was when it was placed in front of her--which meant it was time to eat NOW! I realized it was easier to give her a tiny snack bowl with a few fish crackers or pretzel sticks while we prepared the food, it certainly helped calm things down a bit. Ten months later, waiting for food (especially when we are out to eat) is not one of her finer points--but she's getting better.
The fairness issue is still very big around here. Just this morning Teddi insisted on orange juice because Brogan was having orange juice--even though she really doesn't like it much at all. In order to keep the peace (and to see if she might try it) I gave her a bit . . . I think every drop was in her cup when I cleaned up from breakfast.
If Teddi and Brogan are "splitting" something she is always very afraid that she is going to get "cheated" and sometimes cries (still) even when things are kept very fair. It hurts my heart to know that they are so afraid of not getting enough--or maybe the fairness thing is so strong because there was so much competition for food, attention, you name it!
Also like Ren, Teddi's attention span upon arrival home was very long--it truly amazed me how long she would stay at something. The first time I gave her play-doh she played with it non-stop for an hour and 25 minutes. She will stack duplo blocks for an hour at a time. She plays so well (alone and with Brogan), and I really didn't expect that.
The pics of your kiddos together are so sweet. I hope your first week "solo" continues to go well.
Blessings~
Tina
Wow, I missed lots those few days away! Great to read all the info and see the pics. The ones of the two of them are so precious and shows their personalities so well. He had such a ready smile the other day and seems so fun-loving too. I'm sure the settling will get better and faster all the time. It struck me funny, the pic on the bed where Claire is looking sideways reminded me of Ava. Funny how certain angles or looks can make all the girls look like each other at different times.
Take care
Awww, Ren is such a cutie! So glad to see he is such a happy kid. And he seems to get along great with Claire.
I love reading the updates. Thanks for that and glad things are going smoothly, but I bet you miss Grandma being there.
Great to read the updates and your wonderful and thoughtful insights. We are so looing forward to our babysitting night later in the month.
Love and Hugs,
Rod and Marianne
Wow, Claire's piggytails are getting so long!
I'm always interested to hear how Ren's communication is going. I thought he'd learn English quickly, and I'm glad that it's going well. Interesting about his impatience for food. I'm sure it is related to his time in China. I'm really glad you've had family around to help with the transition, for you as much as the kids.
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