We had Monday morning off and then met for a trip to the Summer Palace. It was relaxing to be there for the second time - I didn't have to take a million photos because I already have them all - and the weather wasn't too cold for the kiddies. Ren had a nice little snooze for much of the walk so that helped out with the long walk too. He fell asleep with a cracker in his mouth:
We and many of our travel mates got swarmed by other visitors to the Summer Palace that day. I had forgotten what a curiousity we are. I went into a store to get snacks for the family and returned to find this sight:
That afternoon, we went to the silk factory. We skipped this part of the tour last time. I didn't buy much - just a jacket for myself and an outfit each for the kids - but it was very interesting to see how silk and some of the products are made. That night when we returned to the hotel, we had a tailor come to our room to measure Paul and Ren for custom made suits. Paul chose to get two business suits made for a steal at about $250 each. We also got a little black suit with a subtle pinstripe made for Ren and two dress shirts for him. Since it's so small with such tiny seams and details, his was expensive in comparison - $100 for the suit and about $45 for each shirt. But it is sooooo cute! We'll use the suit for his baptism and possibly a family wedding this year, and I know we won't regret the expense at all.It was a neat experience having the suits made for the boys. They measured the boys on Monday, brought over unfinished suits on Tuesday to check for fit, and brought the beautiful finished products here this afternoon (Wednesday). A big thanks to Marty and Cecile for letting us know our guide could arrange this!
Here are Paul and Ren with the tailors:
The shopping continued first thing on Tuesday morning. We went to the Pearl Market (another place we skipped last time) and got a few gifts there. It was fun to pick the pearls and then see the people make the jewellery for you, be it earrings, a necklace or a bracelet. Paul somehow managed both kids while I shopped for gifts there. What a man!
There have been more shopping opportunities since but we've decided to lay pretty low. Claire had a big meltdown today (HUGE!) and we realized she's really needing things to stay low-key. Just today, she began asking to go home. She's done here. She's managed really well all things considering but it is hard to see her struggling with all that's going on, and we just want things to be as close to normal again for her as they can. Of course, life will never be the same again with Ren around but at least we'll be back at home in our routine.
Last night (Tuesday), we went to the acrobat show. Claire and Ren were completely mesmerized. At one point, Ren got kind of scared and hunkered down behind the seat in front of him. But he couldn't keep his eyes off the show! Before long, he was watching the show through the crack between the seats with his eyes wide and his mouth open.
I'm happy to say that Ren is a total sweetheart with his sister. Yesterday morning as we headed down to meet our group, he reached for her hand. They held hands for a good ten minutes!
They did the same thing this morning. Our group must think they are best of friends, as that is how they often appear out in public. But back in the room, watch out for Claire-bear - emphasis on 'bear'! She has turned into an aggressive little girl with her brother! Usually she is very level and sometimes not even as assertive as we'd wish for her, but wow, with him, she's so far on the other side. I'm hoping that with time, she'll balance out in the assertive category (as opposed to aggressive).Ren continues to challenge Paul and me with hitting. Today, he graduated to biting. We're just grateful it's directed at us and not Claire. He's also having tantrums quite regularly about not getting his way. We'll immediately meet his needs, but definitely not his every want, and that is usually what poses the problem. I don't think he understands much of what we say yet but even if he did, I'm not sure it would help. I guess time will tell. Again, I'll be consulting our attachment books about the best ways to handle this stuff. I recall some of what I've read but not everything, and against my better judgement, I didn't bring those books with me because of needing to keep our luggage weight down for in-China train rides and flights.
On the bright side, we realized on Tuesday that Ren consistently responds to "Ren" now. For the first few days, we called him by the Cantonese pronunciation of his name ("Jan", which is pronounced sort of like "Yun") and then began to use both names together. We've now stopped the "Yun" altogether.
We're having breakfast with Marvin, Carolyn and Jaida at 8:30 a.m. tomorrow morning - our last with them as they fly out in the evening - so I better hit the hay like the rest of my family. Good night!
8 comments:
As usual I'm enjoying every tidbit. I can just imagine Paul out in the mall there at the Pearl market trying to corral those two while you were shopping! GLad you got to see some stuff you missed last time. Enjoy your last days. Please give the Clows a big hug from us.
We are officially addicted to your blog. When you check your history at least 10 hits a day were from us. The pearl market - the tailors - the silk factory - great times! Education is such a great thing - at least you know what Ren & Claire are going through is "normal" and somewhere out there is the help to make the best decisions for your kids.
Cecile
Wow, you have been busy! I love the photos -- Ren is so handsome in his suit and the one of he and Claire holding hands is too cute. Paul must have had fun trying to hold off the admirers while you were busy shopping!
I'm sure you're anxious to be home and settled into a routine. There have been so many adjustments for everyone, hopefully things settle down a bit when you get home and Claire and Ren get used to each other.
Enjoy your last days. The goodbyes are the hardest part, hugs all around from us!
xxoo
You sure got a lot done. I'm impressed you had time to take advantage of the shopping and tailormaking there.
It sounds like you're ready to come home soon. Then you can get down to the structure and regular routines again. But the kiddies sure sound like very civil siblings (holding hands for ten minutes -- awwwwwwww).
It's lovely to hear everything has turned out so nicely. Wonderful memories all around, I think. Cheers for a great time with Carolyn and Marvin!
I just love all the pictures and all of the posts that you include everyday.
When we were there for our son, he spitted to me or people a few times just for fun. We asked our guide to explain to him that it was not appropriate at all and we did not want him to do it again. Luckily it worked.
Maybe you can try the same, although I do understand that it could be for some different reasons.
Good luck.
Thinking of you guys.
J-P
You're almost there guys. Another few days. It was about now that I had just had it with Eva's temper tantrums and meltdowns everytime she took something away from Jay-Jay and we told her no (anytime we took his side over anything actually). She was very aggressive with him. I think it's normal. Not allowed, but normal. At first she tried telling him what she didn't like, but of course he didn't understand so after a couple of days (well, maybe hours), she'd just wack him. That seemed to work pretty well, so she just started wacking, pushing, etc. anytime she wanted something (even if she hadn't even noticed it before he started playing with it). She was attracted to and repelled by him at the same time and he was, quite frankly, frightened by her. You'll be able to deal with all this stuff so much better at home. With Eva, at one point she purposely pushed him down the stairs. That's when we got really serious. Time-out any time she touched her brother was what worked for us. It was so hard for me to put my sweet-baby-girl (who had had maybe 3 time-outs in 2 years) on time-out. By time-out I mean sitting her in a chair, in the same room as us. At the beginning she had many time-outs in one day, but it reduced dramatically very quickly once we got consistent.
Jay-Jay spit. Time-put worked for that too. He may not have understood our words exactly, but he got that 'spit at Mama = sit on a chair (where he could see me) for a minute'. The only other thing I can suggest is to maybe slow down on the name change. Jay-Jay responded to his name Samuel too, we had had the guide explain it, but as soon as he was comfortable with us and as soon as he could express himself to us he let us know that he was Jay-Jay and not Samuel.
Hang-in there guys. It's normal, it will arrange itself and before you know it this will all just be a memory.
Thanks for the tips, JP and Dawn! Good thinking about the name change - I hadn't thought of that. We did have our guide in Guangzhou explain to Ren that he was not to hit his family and it seemed to help for a couple of days (somewhat). We were hoping to do the same thing here but neither our guide or our coordinator speaks Cantonese. We'll ask some friends at home!
I love all the photos. Holding hands--adorable. Ren and his cracker--too cute. And look at Paul drawing a crowd!
I'm sure you're all ready to get home. Claire has done amazingly well with numerous hotel rooms, and a brother! Ren's reactions seem consistent to what I've read about. What an eventful week it's been for him.
Enjoy your last couple days in China.
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