Forever Family Day

Today is our second anniversary of Forever Family Day with Claire (the day we received her). It's always an emotional day, full of memories, but today I'm especially emotional.

I can't believe we caught our first glimpse of Claire in person only two years ago. Claire is the child on the left in this photo:

And then she was finally ours and we were hers:

And now we are the royal, loyal subjects to Princess Claire:
I'm reflecting on all that's occurred in the last two years but also anticipating what's to come when we experience another Forever Family Day very soon with Ren.

I'm incredibly excited right now. We leave for China in exactly two weeks from today. In just over two weeks, we will receive Ren. So many thoughts are running through my head. What does his voice sound like? How long will it be before we coax a smile from him? What does his laugh sound like? What does he like to play with? Will he allow us eye contact right away, and if so, how great will that feel when I can hold him and look deep into his eyes? How big is he really?!

I'm also very nervous about all that's ahead of us. It's not like we're totally unprepared. After all, we've done a lot of reading on attachment, we're prepared to do some signing with our guy, we're trying to learn a few comfort phrases in Cantonese (hard, hard, hard on our own; with Mandarin, we took a class and gained a lot of comfort in regular practice in class), I'm doing some reading on siblings (thanks for the book recommendation, Dawn!), and the house is pretty much as ready as it's going to get until he gets home. It's just that I can't predict with any certainty what's going to happen in the next few weeks (or much longer!) and I've always had control issues!

We are self-educated on possible ways Ren may respond to being taken away from everyone and everything he has ever known, and we're equipped with information on how best to respond in various scenarios. But it won't be easy to see Ren grieve his loss (my heart is already breaking for him), and to call upon the right thing to do at the right time to help him. I guess at this point, I just have to have faith in myself. I do most of the time but of course, self-doubt creeps in from time to time. I have constant faith in Paul so why do I doubt myself from time to time?

On top of that, I'm worried about how Claire will do during this time of transition. When we adopted Claire, it was just us grownups to worry about; this time, I'm worried about how she'll interact with Ren, how we'll help her adjust as time goes on, how I'll cope if she becomes incredibly clingy to me (a strong possibility), and well, the list goes on. But I do know for certain that in the long term, she'll be incredibly enriched by having Ren as her brother, just as I am certain we will all be enriched by our little fella. It's just probably going to be tough in the next while.

On the very bright side, we received great news a couple of days ago that Ren's condition appears to be fine at the moment - no immediate treatments required. There will likely be things to deal with later, but at least there is nothing that requires immediate attention. We also learned that he still takes a bottle! Apparently, he gets 2 or 3 a day! I was very surprised to hear this but also very glad because cuddling with him while feeding him his bottle will be a great opportunity for attachment.

Before I sign off, I want to extend happy anniversary greetings to all our travel mates from our 2007 trip. You have become family to us, and we feel blessed to have you in our lives. You will be in our thoughts as we visit China once again.